Tag Archives: The Power of Habit

Ten Ways of Improving Your Chances of Keeping that New Year’s Resolution

calvin-hobbes-new-year-resolution1Make a list and think it through

It’s that time and everyone is thinking of New Year’s Resolutions. You’re itching to get rid of that bad habit right now, but you want a way of improving your chances of keeping your New Year’s Resolution, so consider this: think it through. I know you have heard that AA saying “Baby Steps” before…but sticking to a habit change is not trying to be perfect right out of the gate. So before you start trying to change a habit, consider thinking about it thoroughly for a month or two. First, list every reason you want to stop, figuring out what triggers or cues you react to, what routine you fall into as a result of that trigger and experiment with the types of rewards you are looking for from that habit. Write down and record every time you catch yourself doing the habit, and soon a pattern will appear. Maybe checking out a few twelve step programs or a therapy group can give you an idea of outside support options. You will be better prepared to conquer the habit after processing it during the next few weeks.

2.  Identify your triggers

By doing this review you will see you do the same behaviors, in the same place, at the same time. If at 3:00, you go on a smoke break in your car, the time and the car itself can become a trigger (or cues as Charles Duhigg author of The Power of Habit calls them). These actions can become a cue to start a habit —sometimes these cues are very subtle to notice. As AA says “Avoid People, Places and Things.” Identify and understand your triggers. These triggers fall into one of the following five categories:

  • Location, a bar, your ex-girlfriend’s neighborhood, a bakery
  • Time, 3:00, happy hour, visiting family
  • Emotional State, Hungry, angry, lonely or tired
  • Other People, the ex, your Mom, Dad or that annoying co-worker
  • An immediately preceding action, or what happened just before you picked up that joint? An argument with your spouse? Anticipating that your boss will ream your butt at work this morning for being late? Packing the car to see the folks for the holidays?

3.  Delayed Gratification and Contingency Management

There are some other simple psychological tricks you can employ as well, such as delayed gratification and contingency management. The 20-Second Rule is an example of delayed gratification: Make bad habits take 20 seconds longer to start. For example, move junk food to the back of the pantry, or leave the credit cards at home so you don’t over spend on lunch. A program sister suggests a Rule of Five, delaying the behavior until you have 5 glasses of water, or walk for 5 minutes or call five 12 step program people. Consider rewarding yourself for not relapsing, it’s called contingency management. Suggest this to yourself: if I don’t act out for 60 days, I can lead the Sunday night 12 step meeting or if I don’t drink now, later tonight, my wife and I can be intimate, or if I don’t use this week my IOP counselor will give me a free lunch coupon for the Olive Garden.

4.  Reframe that habit thought

Even if we hate the habit we’re doing, like smoking or over eating, we tend to continue doing it because it provides us with some sort of satisfaction or psychological reward. Catch yourself thinking any positive thoughts or feelings about your bad habits (like: if I have a drink, I will not feel so nervous around my in-laws) and reframe these thoughts to remind you of the negative aspects of your habits. Maybe think this thought instead, “One drink is too many and a thousand drinks is not enough.” That is reframing the habit thought.

5.  Willpower is in limited supply

Research has shown that we don’t have unlimited willpower (it didn’t take scholarly research to confirm this for you!) The truth is we’re constantly exercising willpower and self-control. The problem is that willpower is like a muscle, capable of fatigue and a muscle can’t be flexed forever. Researchers placed some study participants in situations in which they had to practice self-control—like not eating chocolate-chip cookies in front of them. While another group could eat as many cookies as they wanted. Then both groups were given a second test that required self-control.

The results? The group that had to resist the cookies did not perform as well on the second task. The group that was allowed to eat as many cookies they wanted, excelled at this second self-control test. The conclusion was that those who had to exert more willpower in the first task exhausted their willpower strength, and were unable to exert the self-control needed for the second task.

Just place yourself in a similar situation, think of you controlling yourself from strangling your self-absorbed-narcissistic colleague during a staff meeting, then around to 3:00, a typical smoke break time for you, you are triggered. You want to not smoke, but low and behold, a cigarette seems like just the reward you need.

6.  Make a plan for relapses

Chances are you’re going to have bad days. Setbacks are normal and we should expect them. Have a plan to get back on track. Recovery coaches call this a relapse prevention plan (click here to link to Mary Ellen Copeland’s WRAP Plan). Coaches have their clients write a relapse prevention plan directly after a slip as a way to understand what happened and how to avoid it next time.

7.  Harm Reduction Option

Every recovery coach anticipates a relapse, they acknowledge it will happen and attach no shame or guilt to a slip. Often, choosing an action based on Harm Reduction, (which is most often recognized as distributing clean needles to intravenous drug users to reduce HIV infection) is a good alternative. Some Harm Reduction ideas are: smoke a cigarette instead of a blasting a whole stick, limit yourself to buying a lottery ticket instead of logging on to a gambling web site or eat a cup of fruit yogurt instead of a chocolate chip cookie.

8.  Change takes a village

With making a resolution to change, don’t attach it to the ever failing New Year’s Resolution. Attach it to a positive change within you. Let people know about it. Ask for help, even if it is a nagging wife or over- bearing parent. Better yet, join a 12 step group. Research shows change happens when you have support from others.

9.  Make a Plan

Once you have figured out your ‘habit loop’, your cues/triggers, the routine you use, and the reward you expect, you can begin to shift your behavior. All you need is a plan. Open your-self up for improved, healthier routines; such as meditation, an afternoon walk, a talk with a co-worker or new way to drive home. These will become very good sources of generating your rewards and within 30, 60 or 90 days it will become a habit. Just give it time and

10.  Succeed keeping your New Year’s Resolution! Don’t give up!

 

Special thanks to Charles Duhigg author of The Power of Habit for supplying all of this excellent information on changing a habit And Calvin and Hobbes for making fun of it!

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Believe Change is Possible

Melissa Killeen

Melissa Killeen

As a recovery coach, I work with people trying to change a habit. We work on finding different ways of responding to a trigger. For some seeking recovery, they want to find an easier, softer way. Others think willpower is all they need to get sober. But that doesn’t always work. As Charles Duhigg describes in his book, the Power of Habit, for a habit to be changed, people must believe change is possible.

Where does this belief come from? Habit change can emerge from a tragedy or from some kind of adversity. Many addictions have been successfully abandoned when an individual hits bottom and finally seeks treatment. Many people give up smoking after a diagnosis of heart disease or when a family member is being treated for lung cancer.

A Harvard study in 1994 examined people that had radically changed their lives. Some had experienced the death of a loved one, divorce or life-threatening illness. Others radically changed their life from observing a friend experience a disaster. Tragedy plays an important part of having an impact on one’s life. But equal to tragedy facilitating change, the same amount of people made change happen in their life because they were surrounded by supportive friends that encouraged change. The Harvard study sites a woman that changed the direction her life when she took one psychology course at a local college and found a group of like-minded individuals. Another man came out of his introverted shell when he joined an acting group. So for change to happen for many, it didn’t take a life shattering event, it simply took a community of believers.

“Change occurs among people”

Todd Heatherton, Dartmouth College Lincoln Filene Professor

A community of non-smokers talk about how great it feels like to be a non-smoker. How nice it is not to have your hair smell like an ashtray. Your spouse commented on how fresh his clothes smell, now that you have stopped smoking. And co-workers admire you for having the strength to stop smoking. These like-minded people can also resolve some negative feelings, as well. Such as what to do after a meal, when the habit of lighting up a Marlboro is the most strong. Or how to refrain from smoking in your car. These friends are there for you to call, text or email whenever the urge to smoke becomes unbearable. Support from a community and their confidence in you, bolsters the strength you need to believe you will not pick up a cigarette.

For habits to change permanently, people must believe change is possible. This same process makes any mutual support group very effective – the power of a group to teach individuals that they can believe it is possible to change. This belief happens when people come together to help one another to change. Whether the group is Nicotine Anonymous, a breast cancer support group or massive amounts of volunteers descending on New Orleans, post Katrina, to re-build the city to it’s former glory.

Change is easier when it occurs within a community.

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Changing a Habit

Melissa KilleenQuitting drinking or drugging is the same as developing an exercise program or winning a football game. Simply by changing a habit, you can succeed in staying sober.

Charles Duhigg investigates this theory in his 2012 book, The Power of Habit. Duhigg uses the classic example of how Bill W., founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, stopped drinking. He expands on this tale, by adding current research verifying the power of believing that the 12-step concept gives an individual the strength to quit a habit.

In his book, Duhigg outlines the addictive process for the reader and asks them to answer these questions:

  1. Identify the Craving
  2. Identify the Cue or Trigger
  3. What Routine does that kick in?
  4. What Reward do you receive from completing that routine?

Yes, many recovering alcoholics will say the answer to #1 is “I am craving alcohol,” but that isn’t necessarily the correct answer. Perhaps the alcoholic is lonely and craves camaraderie, old friends, or being social. Perhaps the alcoholic doesn’t want to spend the evening in his apartment all alone, eating another microwave dinner. So for this recovering alcoholic, his answers to Duhigg’s questions may look like this:

  1. Identify the craving — Not being alone.
  2. Identify the Cue or Trigger — On my way home from work, I drive by my favorite bar, thinking about stopping in to see some friends.
  3. What routine does that kick in? — Stop into the bar, see my friends, and order dinner and a beer.
  4.  What reward do you receive from completing that routine? — Happy spending time with old friends, and having a better meal than a microwave dinner.

So, we all know how that evening ends.

Duhigg’s suggestions on changing a habit is as simple as substituting a new routine. Yes, the cravings and cues remain the same, and the reward remains the same, as well. The reward, for our alcoholic friend, is spending time with friends. Here is a suggestion for our friend:

  1. Identify the craving — Not being alone.
  2. Identify the Cue or Trigger — Thinking about seeing some friends.
  3. What routine does that kick in? — Go to an AA meeting which is on my way home, that starts at 6:00pm, and see some friends.
  4. What reward do you receive from completing that routine? — Happy spending time with friends.

Let’s try this concept on another addiction, such as smoking. I personally have struggled to stop smoking since 2014. I found that I didn’t really crave the act of smoking, I hate the smell and the taste it leaves in my mouth. My craving was to be social. So this is my outline using Duhigg’s Theory of Habit Change.

It is 3:00pm, and I am sitting at my desk. I would like to take a break, and see what my smoking buddy Chiquita is doing. Here is the scenario:

  1. Identify the craving — Time for a break from work to socialize.
  2. Identify the Cue or Trigger — Its 3:00pm, usually I have a smoke with Chiquita.
  3. What routine does that kick in? — Go to Chiquita’s office to ask her to come out to the smoking area, for a smoke.
  4. What reward do you receive from completing that routine? — Happy spending time socializing.

What do I do to turn around that routine in order not to smoke?

  1. Identify the craving — Time for a break from work to socialize.
  2. Identify the Cue or Trigger — Its 3pm, usually I have a smoke with Chiquita.
  3. What routine does that kick in? — Option #1 Go to the cafeteria and get a cup of tea, or bottle of water and socialize with the people there. Option #2 — Pop a mint into my mouth, and go down the hall to say hello to a friend that I also have to ask a work question.
  4. What reward do you receive from completing that routine? — Happy spending time socializing.

In all of these scenarios, the craving, cue and reward remain the same. The only thing that changes is the routine. As a recovery coach, this is one of the first lessons we teach our clients. Change your routine.

Don’t drive by the bar

Don’t dial the old girlfriend.

Don’t hang out with a drugging buddy

Don’t visit your smoking friend’s desk.

Change your routine.

I know, you are thinking about how difficult changing a routine is. Well, Duhigg knows a few more “tips” to ensure this routine sticks. I will be discussing these tips in my next post.

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