Tag Archives: Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health

Child Pornography – Part Three

Will an offender that views child porn become a ‘hands on’ offender?

Melissa Killeen

Melissa Killeen

The Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers is an international, multi-disciplinary organization dedicated to preventing sexual abuse. In a report adopted by the ATSA Executive Board of Directors on September 7, 2010 it was found that there is increasing attention paid to Internet-facilitated sexual offending. Internet-related sexual offending includes different crimes, including: viewing, trading, or producing child pornography to be traded or posted on-line. Others use the Internet to make contact with a child, or adolescent, these offenders are often called ‘hands on’ or ‘contact’ offenders. These offenders seek to contact vulnerable persons for sexual chats (electronic correspondence), exploitation such as convincing a child to view or produce pornographic images (e.g., having the child take and email a nude picture of him/herself), or to arrange face-to-face meetings to commit sexual offenses (sometimes referred to as “luring” or “traveler” offending)1 .

The vast majority of these ‘contact’ abuses against minors are from either a family member, or someone the child knows such as a family friend, coach, teacher or church leader, according to Dr. Fred Berlin, founder and director of the Johns Hopkins Sexual Disorders Clinic in Baltimore. Whereas the viewer of child pornography remains anonymous.

That is not to say there is not a significant amount of psychological damage is perpetrated on children during the production and subsequent constant viewing of child pornography. Incredible and devastating harm is done to these young children that requires years of counseling and treatment in order for these young victims to heal, if they can ever heal. It is the point of this blog, to clarify that viewers of child pornography often do not move on to being ‘contact’ offenders.

It is a primary concern for professionals who evaluate and treat Internet-facilitated sexual offenders to assess the risk these viewers may pose to perpetrate direct contact offenses with victim(s) or to commit future Internet-facilitated sexual offenses such as producing and/or distributing child pornography. Accurate risk assessment is critical to decisions by law enforcement in order to make appropriate recommendations for sentencing, treatment, and level of supervision. Across studies of Internet-facilitated child pornography offenders, approximately one in ten has an officially known history of contacting a child for the purpose of sexual offending2 . However, the majority of Internet-facilitated sexual offenders have no known history of contact sexual offenses. Some, through self-reporting, suggests these offenders may have committed contact offenses, but never got caught. However unfortunately, there is very little research to assess the risk of viewers of child pornography who have no official history of contact sexual offenses to relapse into contact offenders.

A follow-up study of offenders that view child pornography suggest these individuals present less risk for any future hands-on offenses, on average, than undifferentiated samples of contact sex offenders3 . Viewers of child pornography also presented a relatively low risk to commit another child pornography viewing offense. The preliminary results of follow-up research suggest criminal history, self-reported sexual interest in children, and unstable lifestyle (e.g., substance use problems) are factors that identify the likelihood that contact offenders will re-offend. As a result of these risks and unstable lifestyles, 8.5% of the offender population are more likely commit a contact sexual offense in the future4 .

Possession of child pornography is a felony under federal law and in every state. If you know of anyone producing or promoting child pornography, please report them through the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children’s CyberTipline: 1 (800) 843-5678. If you are concerned about what you or a loved one has been looking at while online, seek the help of a professional who specializes in this area.

References used in this blog:


1 Motivans, M., & Kyckelhahn, T. (2007). Federal prosecution of child sex exploitation offenders, 2006 (Report No. NCJ 219412). Bureau of Justice Statistics Bulletin. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs.

2 Seto, M.C., Hanson, R.K., and Babchishin, K.M. (in press). Contact Sexual Offending By Men with Online Sexual Offenses. Sexual Abuse: A Journal of Research and Treatment.

3 Seto, M. C., & Eke, A. W. (2005). The future offending of child pornography offenders. Sexual Abuse: A Journal of Research and Treatment, 17, 201-210

4 Wolak, J., Finkelhor, D., Mitchell, K. J., & Ybarra, M. L. (2008). Online “predators” and their victims: Myths, realities, and implications for prevention and treatment. American Psychologist, 63, 111-128.

The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH) is a nonprofit multidisciplinary organization dedicated to scholarship, training, and resources for promoting sexual health and overcoming problematic sexual behaviors. SASH is the only organization dedicated specifically to helping those who suffer from out of control sexual behavior. http://sash.net/?q=about-us

National Center for Missing & Exploited Children’s CyberTipline: 1 (800) 843-5678 . The CyberTipline is operated in partnership with the FBI, Immigration and Customs Enforcement, U.S. Postal Inspection Service, U.S. Secret Service, military criminal investigative organizations, U.S. Department of Justice, Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force program, as well as other state and local law enforcement agencies.

Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers is an international, multi-disciplinary organization dedicated to preventing sexual abuse. Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers offers symposia, workshop presentations, discussion groups, and advanced clinics relating to issues in both victim and perpetrator research and treatment at an annual conference in November 2016.

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I’m a guy, can I be a love addict?

melissa-new-post

Melissa Killeen

“Seeing her in the afternoon was like being in heaven,
it took away all of my worries”“This is the only woman who has ever understood me.”

“She is the woman I have dreamed of being with my whole life.”

“She will fix me.”

You are a guy—can you be a love addict? There are many men who have thought these thoughts. There are many men who are dedicated to their wives, yet, seek love in the arms of other women. There are other men who do, do, do for their wives and their families without ever considering their own needs. It is very hard for a man to admit he is a love addict. But there are many men in the 12-step rooms of Love Addicts Anonymous or Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous that recognize they have a behavioral addiction: love addiction.

People fall into love addiction because the behavior is transformative. In this case, feelings of love, romance and fantasy are a “fix” or a sedative for the negative feelings of anxiety, despair, self-doubt, rage, fear of abandonment, etc. The problem is that the fix doesn’t last. Just like any sedative, it wears off.

All healthy relationships transverse from euphoria to loving. Along that trail you receive the knowledge that your partner is a separate person with faults as well as gifts. You don’t feel rebuffed by your lover, for being you. You know she loves you, warts and all. Or does she? Love addiction is built on relationships that form heightened feelings of anxiety instead of feelings of safety and nurturing. Have you ever felt your relationship has moved from feelings of euphoria to feelings of doubt, depression or anxiety in a nanosecond? A love addict will often think “I love you, but, please stop hurting me.” I say think, because very often these thoughts are stuffed down and never verbalized after the first or second comments were met with a disdainful response. The love addict will deny reality, search for a flicker of the early magic, and tolerate anything in order to obtain a sense of security from their partner. But that sense of security rarely is obtained.

The love addict’s dependency on another person is characterized as maintaining the connection, approval or fantasized attachment to the other person. Occasionally, the term fantasy addict is heard in the “S” rooms. How often has a love addict, hurt and emotionally abused by their wife or girlfriend, retreated into the computer fantasy world of porn to seek what they are really looking for in their relationship? The love addict can live in the non-reality or fantasy that their lives are working, because they have the outward trappings of success (the house, clothes, cars, kids doing well). The denial of reality for the love addict is based on their fear of being abandoned, so the love addict makes up in his head that his miserable, love-less life is a small sacrifice as compared to him being alone.

Accepting crumbs

One of the greatest losses a male love addict experiences is his loss of self. The constant acting out in an unhealthy relationship results in an increasingly devalued view of self by the love addict, and an increasing idealized version of his love interest. There is an increased need to depend on the wife, partner, boss or friend as the stakes get higher. It is, at times, as if reality has become obscured. A businessman complains:

“I think she is trying to trick me to slip up, so she can leave me.”

“I will lie to avoid conflict.”

“I can last a year on just one compliment.”

The ability to trust is absent in addictive relationships. The pattern of these relationships involves more and more dependence, less and less fulfillment and many negative consequences that can border on abuse. The cost of being a love addict can affect any part of a man’s life, all of his relationships, family as well as in his career.

If a love addict actually loses his “fix,” he suffers not only psychological devastation; but a physical feeling of withdrawal which could include sleeplessness, eating difficulties, disorientation, sweating, cramps, anxiety, and nausea.

Can I recover?

It is often from these intense feelings of withdrawal that recovery begins. It begins with the end of denial and the recognition that these feelings could be an addiction. Withdrawal involves the wish to change, even when that wish comes from loss and pain. Recovery is not about finding another person or reclaiming your former lover, but about reclaiming yourself. Recovery from love addiction most often necessitates seeking professional help to regulate your feelings, grow your acceptance of self, improve your self-esteem, heal your past wounds, to look at your dependency issues and to forgive yourself.

You might want to consider attending a 12-step mutual support group such as:

http://www.loveaddicts.org/

http://www.slaafws.org

http://coda.org/

http://www.adultchildren.org/

To find a professional with counseling experience in love addiction go to The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH) web site. SASH is a nonprofit organization dedicated to scholarship and training of professionals certified in sex and love addiction treatment.

http://www.iitap.com/certification/addiction-professionals

 

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