Tag Archives: drug addiction

Who Needs a Recovery Coach? Who Wants Sobriety?

Posted on November 26, 2014 by Melissa Killeen
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Melissa Killeen

The following is a reprint of a previous post of years past. Given that the holidays bring with them an increase in alcoholic drinking and the ravages of that addiction, it seems very appropriate.

Who Needs a Recovery Coach? Who Wants Sobriety?

Are you:

  • A high functioning alcoholic leaving treatment and frightened by returning to the outside world.
  • The established leader who needs assistance in balancing recovery, work and life.
  • An alcoholic facing their third DUI.
  • The highly competent business woman that refuses to go to an AA meeting because someone there may recognize her.
  • The high potential person that missed out on learning what it takes to become a great leader, because of the addiction.
  • The mother that has to balance work, family and a social life, that must include recovery but is finding it difficult to say “no.”
  • The sober person that has gone through incredible changes in your personal life, but still have not seen the changes in your work life?
  • Someone in transition, returning to work after a leave of absence or a stay in a treatment center and is encountering more adjustment pains than you expected.
  • An executive woman who wants to break the glass ceiling by learning the invisible rules of the game that do not include drinking.
  • A talented manager who is a candidate for leadership but continuously acted out because of experiencing friction with a boss or subordinate.
  • A social drinker/recreational drug user that just can’t seem to adjust to “work” on Monday morning, like they used to.
  • A technically proficient individual who is acting out on the computer during work.
  • A newly sober, yet inexperienced female manager whose development is paramount to organizational and personal success.
  • A parent who hid behind their addiction, resisting intimacy with their partner and their children.
  • The strategic thinker who wants to plot new initiatives for their life, to create a new business and now sober, doesn’t know how to achieve these goals.
  • An entrepreneur whose effectiveness is inextricably tied to your ability to lead and motivate your team, and as a sober person you are ready to face that challenge.

Or are you:

Sick and tired of being sick and tired? 

You can achieve the goals you’ve always dreamed possible, with confidential, convenient and effective ways to achieve sobriety, accelerate success, and giving you the major competitive edge you need to recover and succeed. Contact Melissa Killeen for a FREE one hour consultation and discover what recovery coaching can do for you.

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My First Meeting with a Client

Posted on February 9, 2014 by Melissa Killeen
Melissa Killeen

Melissa Killeen

I know every client is nervous, unsure, and very vulnerable when they first meet their recovery coach. A typical client has just been discharged from an inpatient treatment center. It may have been the outpatient coordinator that suggested the client work with a recovery coach. Or maybe it was the therapist that the client employed after discharge. A coach can be there for a client during this incredibly difficult time. Of the clients discharged from rehab, 80% relapse in the first year. Of this number, 30% relapse in the first month. Those are some distressing numbers.

Not every client can walk into an AA or NA meeting and select a sponsor. Many have to wait a week before they even see their therapist for the first time or move into an Intensive Outpatient Program. Wouldn’t it be nice if someone was there to support this client as they move from the safe environment of an inpatient treatment center back to the very scary environment that they may blame for sending them to treatment in the first place.

My first meeting with a client is focused on establishing trust. Yes, hoping the client has trust in me as a coach, but also for me to establish the level of trust I have in that client. I ask the client to tell me the story of when they first picked up a drug or drink. I ask them their first childhood memory. We talk about expectations, and deliverables. How they think coaching will help them, and what I expect of them.

Many of those expectations are the business side of the recovery coaching relationship. For example: Don’t be late for an appointment; if they miss an appointment they pay for it. Other expectations are stated to establish firm boundaries, such as every face-to-face meeting I have with them will include a toxicology screen. The client must email or text me every day and call me when they are scheduled to call since the client has prepaid for this. I also lay out the ramifications if the client slips. I ask them outright what they think will happen if they slip.  Every client thinks I’ll drop them, cold, if they slip. I tell them that a slip is a learning experience and research shows that everyone will slip. But it is the full blown relapse we want to avoid. That’s why I will stick with the client through thick and thin. Asking, what have they learned? How will they change? Next time, what will they do differently?

After the tox screen I give the new client a Life Orientations Survey, which is a behavioral analysis. This is so I have a sense of what kind of behavior the client will display. I also request a spouse or partner take the survey. I request that the spouse take this behavioral survey so I can coach the client on how to deliver messages to the spouse in a way that the spouse can hear them.

After finishing up the negotiations on the monthly schedule and fees, I usually exit within an hour or an hour-and-fifteen minutes with a check for prepayment of next month’s coaching engagement.

If you are interested in purchasing Melissa Killeen’s new book, click below.

Recovery Coaching
A Guide to Coaching People in Recovery from Addictions

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Parents of Addicted Ones—How to Get Involved

Posted on January 20, 2014 by Melissa Killeen

Part Three: Parents of Addicted Loved Ones – How to get involved. This is Part Three of a 3-part series on PAL, Parents of Addicted Loved-Ones, by Mike Speakman. Part One focused on how PAL started. Part Two explained how PAL works. Scroll down at the end of this blog to read subsequent postings. 

Mike Speakman, a Phoenix-based Family Education Coach, is the founder of Parents of Addicted Loved Ones. Contact Mike at: mike@pal-group.org or visit the PAL Group Site: www.pal-group.org

PAL
A support group for parents with a child suffering from addiction.
Part Three: Parents of Addicted Loved Ones – How to get involved.

The reason to get involved with Parents of Addicted Loved-ones (PAL) is by attending PAL meetings, parents and spouses can start to learn how to manage the ongoing issues surrounding an addicted child or loved one. PAL was founded by Drug and Alcohol Addiction Counselor Michael Speakman, LISAC. Meetings are run by parents affected by an addicted loved one, similar to 12-steps meetings, yet the leader allows for question asking. The meetings last approximately 90 minutes long and are free of charge. By attending PAL meetings, parents learn proven ways to help their loved one and ultimately how to find joy in life regardless of the choices their loved one makes. PAL does not endorse any particular action or school of thought. The group is just one way for parents and spouses to educate themselves and prepare to make their own decisions. Members aren’t required to attend each week or follow every suggestion.

“Adult children make their own choices and we’re not responsible for that,” says one parent member. “If we don’t set healthy boundaries and say ‘We’re not going to rescue you from the consequences of your choices,’ our adult children won’t get well. A healthy boundary lets them know ‘I love you, but you’re responsible for your decisions. Not me.’”

“It’s a really relaxed atmosphere where everyone offers support and encouragement to one another as they make positive changes,” Speakman says. “Not only does this help the parent. As parents change themselves and how they interact with their child, the child is more inclined to admit to a problem and seek help. It doesn’t always happen but it is our hope.”

The guiding principles of PAL are confidentiality, respect, acceptance and support. Differences in opinion are embraced without judgment and suggestions are offered in lieu of advice. Members are encouraged to:

  • Take what works and leave the rest
  • Everyone experiences the journey at their own pace and is supported by the group regardless

PAL groups are currently being held across Arizona and they continue to spread across the US and Canada. For a full list of meetings visit the PAL website at www.palgroup.org, where you’ll also find helpful articles, videos and links.

If you’d like to start a group in your area, PAL has trained dozens of volunteer facilitators to do just that. Simply contact PAL through its website at www.palgroup.org and express your interest.

Any parent can participate in PAL’s monthly conference call meeting held on the third Thursday of each month. The 90-minute call runs the same way as an in-person meeting and is also free.

Typically PAL meetings follow the same general pattern. Each meeting begins with prayer, followed by introductions, then exploration/discussion of topics such as:

  • delayed emotional growth
  • three promises to a loved-one
  • healthy helping
  • enabling checklist
  • the four stages of growth in recovery
  • 13 family lessons about recovery
  • alcoholic/addict roles and family roles
  • re-entry, transitional living and aftercare

Lastly, members share a little about what’s going on in their lives and the meeting ends with prayer.

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