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  • HISTORY OF RECOVERY COACHING

    In 1984, the rock group Aerosmith was attempting a comeback; but it was not working, just as their newest album Back in the Saddle was not climbing the charts. There were a lot of things that were not working for Aerosmith, Joe Perry and Steven Tyler, front men for the group, are referred to as the “Toxic Twins” for their heroin habits and other behaviors on and off the stage. (George-Warren & Romanowski, 2001). In fact, the entire band was heavily drinking or taking drugs.

    That summer, while touring for the new album, co-manager, David Krebs, hired a psychiatrist to tour with the band. After a month, the doctor claimed the band was “unfixable”. Co-Manager Krebs left the band. Aerosmith denied drugs were dragging down the tour and the album sales. (Aerosmith and Davis, 1997). The band pointed their fingers outward, blaming everyone else for their problems. The band changed record labels from CBS Records to Arista Records, and hired Tim Collins to manage the band (Aerosmith & Davis 1997).

    Tim Collins, told the group that in order to survive they had to get sober, claiming that if they stopped using alcohol and drugs, he could take them “platinum” again (George –Warren & Romanowski , 2001). Band members Joey Kramer and Tom Hamilton both became sober and by the fall of 1986. Steven Tyler went to an in-treatment drug rehabilitation center, followed by Joe Perry. By the end of 1986, the final band member Brad Whitford had accepted sobriety. Even so, Aerosmith’s sobriety commitment to Tim Collins was only partially completed. Collins still had to get these heavy metal rockers on the road, with roadies, groupies, opening acts and exposure to more drugs and alcohol, in order to promote their newest album, Permanent Vacation. Tim was able to help the group, maintain sobriety throughout the tour by contracting a recovery coach, Bob Timmons to stay with the band through the tour.

    Bob Timmins, was a California based addiction specialist, an ex-con, ex-gang member and recovering heroin addict who had 32 years in sobriety. He was credited with salvaging the lives of a long list of celebrity drug users including members of Aerosmith, Motley Crue and Blind Melon.  Timmins , one of the founders of MusiCares Foundation, which provides assistance to musicians suffering from addiction, influenced the way recording labels treat recovering entertainment artists. In the past, drugs and alcohol were given freely to the artists to enhance their creativity and satisfy any other “needs”. Traditionally, the backstage area was a very toxic place for a recovering artist. Neil Lasher, VP of promotion/marketing and artist relations at EMI Music Publishing and Bob Timmons heralded the concept of a “Safe Harbor Room”, spaces devoid of drugs and alcohol to isolate the recovering entertainers from the masses of back stage workers that do not adhere to sober practices. In 1990, this “Safe Harbor Room” concept was instituted at the 39th Annual Grammy Awards as a backstage area that provides a support system to artists and crew members struggling with addiction issues and continues to be a fixture in many entertainment venues today.  Timmons, died of respiratory failure in 2008, he was 61. Bob Timmons is recognized as introducing this new era of recovery coaching into the mainstream.

     

    This is the first chapter of “Guide to Coaching People in Recovery from Addiction” a book written by Melissa Killeen, and available as an eBook in January 2013 on Amazon.com

     Part Two: “History of Recovery Coaching, Part Two” will be posted next week.

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  • Cybersex Addiction Screening Test

    The Cybersex Addiction Screening Test is designed to assist the assessment of sexually compulsive or “addictive” behavior. The test provides a profile of responses which help to identify men and women with sexually addictive disorders.

    Instructions

    Check each “Yes” response as appropriate. Count your answers at the end

    Questions

    1. Do you spend increasing amounts of online time focused on sexual or romantic intrigue or involvement?
       YES
    2. Are you involved in multiple romantic or sexual affairs in chat rooms, Internet or BBS?
       YES
    3. Do you not consider online sexual or romantic “affairs” to be a possible violation of spousal/partnership commitments?
       YES
    4. Have you failed in attempts to cut back on frequency of online or Internet sexual and romantic involvement or interaction?
       YES
    5. Does online use interfere with work (tired or late due to previous night’s use, online while at work etc.)?
       YES
    6. Does online use interfere with primary relationships (e.g. minimizing or lying to partners about online activities, spending less time with family or partners)?
       YES
    7. Are you intensely engaged in collecting Internet pornography?
       YES
    8. Do you engage in fantasy online acts or experiences which would be illegal if carried out (e.g. rape, child molestation)?
       YES
    9. Has your social or family interactive time decreased due to online fantasy involvement?
       YES
    10. Are you secretive, or do you lie about the amount of time spent online or type of sexual/romantic fantasy activities carried out online?
       YES
    11. Do you engage with sexual or romantic partners met online, while being involved in marital or other primary relationship?
       YES
    12. Are there increasing numbers of complaints or concerns from family or friends about the amount of time spent online?
       YES
    13. Do you frequently become angry or extremely irritable when asked to give up online involvement to engage with partners, family or friends?
       YES
    14. Has the primary focus of sexual or romantic life becomes increasingly related to computer activity (including pornographic CD ROM use)?
       YES

     

     If you scored seven yes’s or more, cybersex and sex addiction may truly be a concern for you, and should be openly discussed with a counselor, friend or family member. I strongly encourage you to attend a 12 step support program like SLAA, SAA or SCA, the links are listed below. You may consider a consultation with a certified sex addiction (CSAT) counselor or professional. You may also want to read or consider purchasing one of the books listed below.

     12 Step Support Programs

    Love Addicts Anonymous
    Love Addicts Anonymous is a 12 step community that provides a safe place where love addicts can come together and recover from love addiction. Face to face meetings in larger metropolitan areas, international on line and telephone meetings. LGBTG friendly

     Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
    National: (615) 331-6230
    A national 12 step program for sexual addicts and sexual offenders. Mostly males in attendance. A guideline of sexual relations outside of the bond of marriage is defined by SA. International on line and telephone meetings

    Sexual Addicts Anonymous (SAA)
    National: (713) 869-4902
    A national 12 step program for sexual addicts and some sexual offenders. Each member to define his or her own abstinence. Scattered meetings have female attendance. International on line and telephone meetings.

    Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA)
    National: (800) 977-4325                                                                                    Mostly urban 12 step program, primarily for sexual addicts. Scattered meetings have female attendance. International on line  meetings

    Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA)
    National: (781) 255-8825
    National 12 step program for sexual addicts and those with patterns of unhealthy sex, love or romantic relationships. Each member is to define his or her own abstinence. Greater female attendance, some “women only” meetings, and sexual or social anorexia meetings, LGBTG friendly. Meetings for offenders in larger metropolitan areas. International on line and telephone meetings including meetings dealing with cross addictions (sex addition and other addictions)

    Sexual Recovery Anonymous (SRA)
    National: (212) 340-4650
    12 step programs similar to SA except “committed relationship” is used instead of “marriage”. These meetings are limited in number but open to everyone in sexual recovery.

     

    Suggested Reading:

    In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior [Paperback], Patrick Carnes Ph.D. (Author), David L. Delmonico Ph.D. (Author), Elizabeth Griffin M.A. (Author), Joseph Moriarity (Author)

     Cybersex Exposed: Simple Fantasy or Obsession? by Jennifer Schneider; and Robert Weiss [paperback]

     Untangling the Web: Sex, Porn, and Fantasy Obsession in the Internet Age [Paperback] Robert Weiss (Author), Jennifer P. Schneider (Author)

    More than Desire: Hope for Women in the Shadows of Pornography by Ashley Weis [paperback]

     

    There are several residential treatment programs throughout the United States that specialize in sexual addiction treatment. Please go the right hand column on this web page and scroll down to the Sex Addiction links . Or visit the links page on this web site: https://www.mkrecoverycoaching.com/?page_id=162

    This test was reprinted from http://www.sexualrecovery.com/resources/self-tests/csat.php . The Sexual Recovery Institute, since 1995 has been helping people from all over the world overcome sexual addiction. SRI offers a number of options for sex addiction treatment, porn addiction treatment, and treatment for other related sexual issues.

     

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  • Coaching Toward Better Family Relationships

    This week’s guest blog is by Ronald B Cohen, MD, a Psychiatrist and Marriage and Family Therapist from Great Neck, NY. Dr. Cohen is a Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association and an Affiliate Member of the American Academy of Marital and Family Therapy.

    In 2001, Betty Carter & Monica McGoldrick two of the most-respected authors, teachers, and clinicians in the field of family therapy, published Advances in Coaching: Family Therapy with One Person, detailing 25 years of research into the theory and techniques of “coaching” individuals to change themselves in the context of their family of origin. The technical term “coaching” refers to preparing and acting for change in the individual’s natural system of relationships.

    In contradistinction to traditional individual therapy, coaching focuses on real world behavior with significant others rather than the in-session therapeutic relationship. It is not the interaction with the therapist but rather the individual’s relationships with their family of origin that is of utmost value. Although this approach is regarded as one of the major modes of intervention in family therapy, the actual methods and techniques are not widely understood nor often implemented effectively. Techniques for helping individuals deal with difficult family relationships are not widely known by most individual therapists.

    The goal of coaching is to help individuals proactively define themselves in relationship to others in their families without emotionally cutting off or giving in. The process of change is built upon ownership of one’s emotional reactions to old triggers and interactions. Coaching, or family therapy with one person, offers individuals a process for making change in their relationships even without the participation of other family members.

    As a therapeutic coach, I help people plan and strategize. I begin by training individuals to become observers and researchers of their role in their family‘s patterns of behavior, what the anthropologists refer to as being a “participant observer”. The information and interactions are then reviewed and we talk about what kind of responses they got, what worked and what didn’t, and where they got stuck. Then we plan what they might do different next time in order to get a response that is more in line with what they are looking for.

    The process then moves to helping individuals bring their behavior more in line with their deepest beliefs, even if this means upsetting family members by disobeying family “rules.” An important part of the coaching process is to help people develop realistic expectations when moving toward changing their part in the family dance. This includes being prepared to respond productively even if unfortunately the other person reacts unfavorably.

    Coaching teaches the possibility of dealing with differences without losing connection, which is one of the primary developmental tasks for a young adult. If you are tied up with all of the stuff and rules and roles of your family of origin, it is really hard to figure out who you are and what you want to do with your life.

    Coaching is “differentiation in action,” guiding people through a process of changing their own participation in unsatisfying family relationship patterns. It is a conscientiously thought through approach to establishing a unique one-to-one relationship with every individual in the family system.

    This post was written by Ronald B Cohen, MD, a Psychiatrist and Marriage and Family Therapist from Great Neck, NY. Dr. Cohen is a Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association and an Affiliate Member of the American Academy of Marital and Family Therapy. As a consultant specialist, Dr. Cohen provides clinical supervision, and confers with individual therapists and other health care professionals and organizations to help them consider how adding family therapy sessions to the treatment program is both restorative and proactive as improvement is long lasting. 

     Dr. Ronald B. Cohen graduated summa cum laude, from Brandeis University and The Albert Einstein College of Medicine. In addition to his psychiatric residency training, Dr. Cohen was educated at the Psychiatric Epidemiology Program of the Columbia University Joseph L. Mailman School of Public Health. Subsequently Dr. Cohen completed the four-year core postgraduate training program in Family Systems Theory and Therapy at The Family Institute of Westchester

    Please feel free to comment, request more information and/or schedule an initial consultation contact Dr Cohen at: http://www.familyfocusedsolutions.com/contact/

    Or email him at:

    RBCohenMD@FamilyFocusedSolutions.com

     

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