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Lions, Tigers and Bears and the Yellow Brick Road to Recovery

This is a guest post by Steve Devlin, a recovery coach from Philadelphia PA, and a long time friend. I chose to post this over the Christmas weekend, because it brings me such joy, and brings back wonderful memories of watching the Wizard of Oz on TV during the 60’s. Thank-you Steve, and Happy Holidays to all of my readers.

Over the past week, I have been thinking about the Serenity Prayer and its connection to the Wizard of Oz. Some of you might be looking at your computer and wonder if I have lost my mind. I beg for your patience and to hear me out. First a caveat or two. I represent only myself in this message. The second caveat is this message was inspired by a share I heard at a 12-step meeting. The person who said it gave me permission to use it. So here we go!

We all know the Serenity Prayer. “May God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” And almost everyone knows the story of the Wizard of Oz or at least the movie version of the story. Dorothy is not happy with life on the farm, runs away, is swept up in a tornado, lands in a strange place, and gathers three companions on her journey to the Emerald City to meet the Wizard. On the way, she must deal with witches – good and bad – flying monkeys, and castle guards before she finds she always had the power to grant her wish of returning home.

So what does this story have to do with the Serenity Prayer, let alone recovery? We cannot find fulfillment, happiness, or peace in our lives. We run away and just when we realize that we have run too far, we are swept up in the tornado (or drug of our choice). Its path of destruction destroys the landscape of our lives and carries us far away. Thankfully, when the storm passes we land in a new brightly-colored world filled with sober people singing about the blessings of recovery. Yet our own work is just beginning. There is a road we must follow with steps leading to the Emerald City of sobriety. We also learn that we cannot walk the path alone. There are still temptations, flying monkeys, people, places, and things calling us back to the darkness. However, as we follow the path we first find the companion of serenity – the heart to love ourselves and others. A new heart also gives us the gift of forgiveness and acceptance.

The second companion is the courage to move forwards even when encountering lions, tigers, and bears. It is courage which lets us turn over our lives, let go of character defects, and make amends. It is also courage that lets us pick up the phone or go to a meeting.

Finally, there is wisdom, which gives us the ability to see choices in our lives and to know what we can and cannot change. After long periods of feeling tied up like a scarecrow on a post, we are set free to walk a brick road of new life. Of course, finding these three companions to fight back addiction is only part of the story and the Emerald City is not the ultimate destination. Our companions bring us to the shining light of recovery, but we must take the gifts back home and use them in our daily lives outside of the rooms.

I wish recovery was as easy as clicking our heals together. Finding our way home takes work but with heart, courage, and wisdom we can overcome all the flying monkeys and stay out of the way of tornadoes. We also learn that the greatest companion of recovery is gratitude which was always just in our own backyard.

Question: Who are your companions on the brick road?

December 22, 2016
Getting through the tough times

As a recovery coach, I often see my clients need some help getting through the tough times, without using drugs, picking up a drink or acting out. Recently, I personally encountered some rough patches in my own life, so I went to my library of recovery books. Reading books on recovery is an import tool I use regularly in my practice. Several years ago, I was curious about Buddhist recovery, so I became an avid reader of the books by Pema Chodron.

Pema Chodron Celebrates 80 Years

Pema Chodron, is a Buddhist nun, she was born in 1936, in New York City, and is celebrating her 80^th year. After a divorce, in her mid-thirties, Pema traveled to the French Alps and encountered Buddhist teacher Lama Chime Rinpoche, and she studied with him for several years. She became a novice Buddhist nun in 1974. Pema moved to rural Cape Breton, Nova Scotia in 1984, to be the director of Gampo Abbey and worked to establish a place to teach the Buddhist monastic traditions (waking before sunrise, chanting scriptures, daily chores, communal meals and providing blessings for the laity). In Nova Scotia and through the Chodron Foundation, she works with others, sharing her ideas and teachings. She has written several books, and in my time of deep spiritual need, I went to her book “When Things Fall Apart”.

Drawn from traditional Buddhist wisdom, Pema’s radical and compassionate advice for what to do when things fall apart in our lives helped me. There is not only one approach to suffering that is of lasting benefit, Pema teaches several approaches that involve moving toward the painful situation and relaxing us to realize the essential groundlessness of our situation. It is in this book, I discovered a simple breathing exercise I can use during these chaotic times so I can move into a better space. Pema advocates this tool as a breathing exercise, although this exercise could also be considered a mindful meditation.

I use Chodron’s tool whenever and wherever life hits me below the belt. I share this tool with my clients. It is all about breathing and consciously repeating words to yourself to accompany the breathing. Since we breathe every day, it is indiscernible whether you are using this tool as you travel on the bus commuting home from work, in a conference room with your boss, or when you are feeling low and want to curl up in a ball and die.

Breathe

Pema explains in her book, when things get way too complicated; step back and breathe. When the force of the world, the politics of the U.S., Great Britain or Italy start weighing heavily on your mind, breathe. When you look at all the pain around you and feel powerless to do anything, breathe.

Pema explains, inhale and say silently to yourself breathe in the pain, then exhale and say breathe out relief. Then, inhale, and say silently to yourself breathe in the relief, and exhale and say breathe out the pain. I find I need about 15 minutes of conscious breathing in this way. After doing this, I find I have new energy or something else crosses my path to move me into a different space.

If I continue to be in that negative space of worry or feeling powerless, then absolutely nothing will be accomplished that day. I know we all have something to accomplish every day, whether it is just getting out of bed, taking a shower and brushing our teeth or running a Fortune 500 company, this exercise gets us from zero to ten in fifteen minutes. Chodron’s exercise moves me to the space I need to be in, so I can function. It is what I need.

So, I invite you to try this simple exercise…and remember…keep breathing.

December 6, 2016
Recovery Coach Training Organizations – Free Listing

Does your organization want a free listing for your recovery coaching certification training? Every year this website updates the list of over 300 agencies, organizations and schools that offer certification training for recovery coaches working with people in recovery from addictions. This list receives over 45,000 hits a year. Please fill in the comment section below if you offer certification in recovery coaching, and your organization will be in this free listing.

Provide all of the pertinent information: institution name, address, email, web site, the person in charge of the training registration and their phone number, date of training and costs. Clarify that this training is for recovery coaches working in the addictions field. This listing is free.

You can fill out the comment section below or send an email to: melissakilleen@mkrecoverycoaching.com

September 3, 2016