Category Archives: Addiction Recovery Posts

posts about addiction and the recovery process

Using the Power of Kundalini Yoga as a Resource for Recovery from Addiction by Guest Blogger Fred Haas

Posted on December 16, 2011 by Michael

Using the Power of Kundalini Yoga as a Resource for Recovery from Addiction
Part 1
By Fred Haas

Fred Haas is an engineer, spiritualist and a recovery coach from Texas. His blog post presents information about the use of kundalini yoga as a resource for recovery from addiction.

Kundalini yoga can be part of the core strategy in a recovery plan or it can be an added tool to supplement and enhance 12-step recovery. For the purposes of this blog this article is divided into two parts. The first part (this week) provides some background information on kundalini, kundalini yoga, and kundalini yoga as taught by Yogi Bhajan. The second part of the blog (next week) provides information on kundalini yoga and addiction recovery, kundalini yoga meditation, kundalini yoga kriyas and additional resources for further exploration of the topic.

Kundalini Activation and Effects

Kundalini energy or spiritual energy is a psycho-spiritual energy of the consciousness that lies at the base of the spine in a latent form as a sleeping, dormant, potential force. Kundalini is described as a great reservoir of creative energy. It is useful to think of Kundalini energy as the very foundation of our consciousness so that when kundalini moves through our bodies our conscious body naturally changes with it. Kundalini energy is a most innate and essential part of spiritual advancement, unfoldment, or realization.Kundalini energy is aroused either through spiritual discipline or spontaneously to bring new states of consciousness, including mystical illumination.

The arousal of Kundalini energy takes place in the subtle body. The subtle body consists of nadis (energy channels), chakras (psychic centers), prana (subtle energy), and bindu (drops of essence). In yogic anatomy, awakened Kundalini rises up through the central nadi called the sushumna. The sushumna is the central channel and conduit for the kundalini energy that runs inside or alongside the spine and up to the crown of the head. There are seven major chakras located along this central channel. These chakras are associated with aspects of our anatomy. They are the root, sacral, solar plexus, heart, throat, third eye and crown chakras. In essence, these chakras are psychic centers in our own human physical forms that, when activated by Kundalini energy, connect us to spiritual energies, and ultimately to the divine.
To summarize the chakras briefly, the first chakra (root) is associated with the color red and with basic root power, pure potential energy. The second chakra (sacral) is associated with the color orange, and with sexual and creative energy. The third chakra (solar plexus) is associated with the color yellow and with emotions, feelings and intuition. The fourth chakra (heart) is associated with the color green and with feelings of love, unity and balance, as it is the midway point between the upper and lower chakras. The fifth chakra (throat) is associated with the color light blue and with the voice and personal expression. The sixth chakra (third eye) is associated with the color indigo, or a deep blue, and with the eyes and with spiritual sight and visions. The seventh chakra (crown) is associated with the color purple (a combination of red, the root chakra and deep blue, the sixth chakra) and with oneness and enlightenment, and a connection to the rest of the universe.
The progress of kundalini through the different chakras leads to different levels of awakening and mystical experience, until the kundalini finally reaches the top of the head, the crown chakra, producing an extremely profound mystical experience. Our experience of these centers is limited due to knots which restrict the flow of energy into these centers.

Kundalini can be awakened by an indirect or direct path. Indirectly kundalini can be awakened by devotion, by selfless service, or by intellectual inquiry. Through these paths the blocks to the awakening of kundalini are slowly removed. Directly kundalini can be awakened when initiated by a guru after which the core of the practice is the inactive and non-willful surrender to kundalini or by using intentional yogic techniques that use the will to awaken the kundalini and to guide its progress. These intentional yogic techniques include Mantra Yoga, Hatha Yoga, Laya Yoga or Kriya Yoga.

All of Yoga actually leads to the activation of Kundalini. The ultimate outcome of kundalini is the union of Will, Knowledge and Action (The Absolute).

Kundalini awakening takes different forms for different people. The differences can range from experiences of pure bliss to extreme inner challenges. It can result in a wide array of sensations. The more pleasant experiences associated with a kundalini awakening may include waves of bliss, periods of elation, and glimpses of transcendental consciousness. The less pleasant experiences associated with a kundalini awakening may include trembling, sharp aches in areas associated with the chakras, periods of irrational anxiety, and sudden flashes of heat.

Kundalini energy is like a power wash that cleanses the chakras of any blockages or disturbances, and brings them back to their full, vibrating potential. Once the power wash is switched on it can not simply be turned off so this intense cleansing continues until the body adjusts. Once the energy is gushing forth, rising up the chakra system, it will come into contact with each of the chakras. If it is met with resistance in the form of blockages from psychological debris and unconscious material then the kundalini energy will wash away the cover and expose the raw unprocessed intimate core of the matter. As a result, even in the best of circumstances, the joy associated with the awakening of kundalini is likely to be attended with a certain amount of anxiety as kundalini wrests control from the ego and unconscious contents spill over into consciousness.

There are things that improve this situation. First a knowledgeable teacher makes a difference. A supportive environment of fellow practitioners who have undergone the same awakening can provide comfort and confidence. Finally, a strong and resilient mind capable of coping with this sudden burst of unconscious material will help.

Also, there may need to be some integration of the effects of these experiences into the body and personality. This is a time when stabilizing actions are important, including daily exercise, wholesome food, reparative sleep patterns, and healthy relationships with others.

Kundalini Yoga

The earliest known written mention of Kundalini Yoga is in the Yoga-Kundalini Upanishad. Some have estimated that the composition of this text dates back between 1,400 and 1,000 BC. The origins of Kundalini Yoga come from the Kashmir region of India. During the thousands of years Kundalini Yoga existed in India its teachings were restricted and maintained as a secret oral tradition to protect the techniques from being abused.

Kundalini yoga is the yoga of awareness. It incorporates physical, mental and spiritual aspects of yoga into a cohesive and integrated system. It is considered an advanced form of yoga that consists of active and passive asana (yoga posture) based kriyas (protocols for different issues), pranayama (breath control), mantra (sound) and meditations that target the whole body system (nervous system, glands, mental faculties, chakras). The asanas focus on naval activity, activity of the spine, and selective pressurization of body points and meridians. Pranayama and the application of bhandas (3 yogic locks) aid to release, direct and control the flow of Kundalini energy from the lower centers to the higher energetic centers. This practice raises the complete body awareness and thereby prepares the whole body system to handle the energy of the Kundalini rising.

Kundalini yoga develops awareness, consciousness and spiritual strength. The purpose of Kundalini yoga is for humans to achieve their total creative potential. It cultivates the creative spiritual potential of a human to uphold values, speak truth, and focus on the compassion and consciousness needed to serve and heal others.

Kundalini Yoga as Taught by Yogi Bhajan
Yogi Bhajan brought Kundalini Yoga from India to the west in 1968, and taught extensively until his death in 2004. He began training in Kundalini Yoga when he was eight years old, and mastered this discipline at age sixteen.

Yogi Bhajan broke the ancient tradition of secrecy and introduced Kundalini Yoga to the West. Kundalini Yoga had never been taught anywhere publicly before this time. Yogi Bhajan started teaching kundalini yoga because he saw that thousands of young people were using drugs in search of higher consciousness. He offered an alternative to the drug culture. He knew kundalini yoga would give seekers a real experience of God within, and help heal their mental and emotional problems as well as the physical bodies that had been damaged by the use of drugs.

Kundalini Yoga as taught by Yogi Bhajan® is a formalized style of yoga. A class typically consists of six major components: 1) tuning-in with the Adi Mantra, 2) pranayam or warm-up, 3) kriya, 4) relaxation, 5) meditation and 6) close with the blessing song, “May the Long Time Sun Shine Upon You”. The kriyas are complete sets of exercises that are performed in the specific sequences and directions given by Yogi Bhajan. Yogi Bhajan established the 3HO (Healthy, Happy, Holy Organization) foundation in 1969 to further his missionary work.

Next week this blog post with continue with part 2 and discuss kundalini yoga and addiction recovery, kundalini yoga meditation, kundalini yoga kriyas and additional resources for further exploration of the topic.

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Can Women be Sex Addicts?

Posted on November 16, 2011 by Michael

 

Can Women be Sex Addicts?

Guest Post By Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

Robert Weiss is Founding Director of The Sexual Recovery Institute and Director of Sexual Disorders Services at The Ranch Treatment Center and Promises Treatment Centers. These centers serve individuals seeking sexual addiction treatment and porn addiction help.

From what the media tells us, sexual addiction is a strictly male problem or least that is all we seem to hear. Men cheating on their wives, men seeing prostitutes, men going to strip clubs, massage parlors and of course, male politicians sexting online. Does this mean that there are no female sex addicts? If there are women out there who are acting out with sex, where are they and why don’t we hear more about them?

The news media gives endless examples of famous husbands who betray their wives in ways that often result in public humiliation for them both (Clinton, Sanford, Tiger, Weiner, etc.). But what about women who ‘act out’ with sex and romance? While we know that women act out additively with food, drugs, alcohol, gambling spending and caretaking, the truth is that there is little to no research on female sex and relationship addiction. What we do know today is that approximately 8-12% of those seeking sexual addiction treatment are women (which interestingly more or less mirrors the numbers of men entering eating disorders treatment), but it is highly likely that many women struggle with compulsive and impulsive sexual and relationship disorders. A woman is less likely than a man to seek help for her problem sexual behavior for a variety of reasons – mostly related to shame.

Emblematic of this problem is our cultural reference for the man who is generating a lot of sexual contacts “stud”, whereas a woman engaging in the same types of activity is referenced as “slut” or “nympho”. This kind of prejudice leaves those women with sexual and romantic behavior problems more highly subject to shame and prejudice – and therefore less likely to get help.  Even the woman whose sexual and romantic behaviors are causing her profound problems  (health, family, relationship, career, etc.) is not likely to identify as having a sexual problem, she is more likely to use terms like, “I have relationship issues” or “I tend to pick the wrong partners”. Because women more often see and experience sexuality in more relational terms then do men – even when a woman is having sex in the same ways and frequency as a male sex addict often won’t identify as having herself as having this problem.

While the primary etiology of male sexual addiction is mostly based in early emotional neglect, covert parental incest and early attachment deficits – female sex addicts report much greater incidences of profound, overt childhood abuse, physical neglect and trauma – often sexual, which leads to sex addiction and intimacy issues in later life. Some of these women unconsciously live out their early abuse by becoming sex workers (i.e. prostitutes, strippers, involved in porn, sensual massage, etc.), attempting to give themselves a sense of ‘control’ over early out of control experiences. As their adult lives are dominated by exchanging sex for money and the feelings of control and power that sexual behavior offers them, these women have little access to outside support or role models toward change and self-examination.

Not all women who are sex and relationship addicts are prostitutes however, many are housewives, single women and even teens, who utilize sex and romantic intensity as a means of self-stability and comfort, despite the various risks and dangers associated with addictive sexual relationships. In terms of risk taking and out-of-control behavior, female sex addicts are very similar to male sex addicts.

Mary S. presented for treatment in an acute crisis when her husband Jeff learned about her having multiple affairs and was threatened to leave unless she got help. Mary is 38 years old with two children ages 4 and 7. In addition to the affairs and anonymous sexual liaisons both before and throughout her marriage, Mary also disclosed “losing myself on a daily basis” to 30-40 minutes of porn use with masturbation, “to help calm me down or as a way to get to sleep” for nearly all her adult life.  She simply reported this as “what I do to relax” but she also keeps this secret from her husband.

Though Mary had a highly physically and emotionally abusive home environment, she had not previously sought out treatment or therapy nor did she relate her problem adult sexual and romantic history to early childhood abuse. She told her therapist that she had always believed that “by marrying the right guy, I could just put the past behind me, when Jeff came along – I thought I was safe” Just after her first child was born, Mary began sexual/romantic affairs with both a neighbor and separately, a co-worker, believing then that her marriage had become boring and she needed these other experiences to feel “more alive”.  In addition to the stated ongoing sexual and romantic liaisons over the past several years, Mary has been signing onto Craigslist in search of other lovers and casual sex whenever she or her husband are out of town for work. Despite her sexual acting out history – Mary was highly motivated to make her marriage work and keep her family together.

Today there are a few precious resources for female sex and love addicts include the recent book, “Waiting to Heal” by Kelly McDaniel MFT,  “Women, Sex and Addiction” by Charlotte Kasl. SLAA, Sex and Love addicts Anonymous is a 12-step sex addiction recovery program that encourages female participation and offers many gender separate meetings. The Ranch, a residential treatment center in Nunnelly Tennessee offers private, gender separate residential treatment for female sex addicts.

The most important step a female sex and love addict can take toward recovery is to openly and honestly bond with healthy adult women, not for sex – but for recreation, friendship and mutual support. Sharing their sexual past in detail (non-graphic) with other women helps to reduce shame and non-sexual bonding with supportive women helps alleviate the need to use men sexually for self-soothing and self-stability.

Below are is an abbreviated list of 20 key “questions” adapted from the Sex and Love Addicts literature that might help a woman self-determine if she has this type of problem. More about SLAA can be found at:  http://www.slaafws.org/

Am I a Female Sex and Love Addict?

1.) Do you feel that your life is becoming or is unmanageable because of your sexual and/or romantic behavior or your excessive dependency needs?

2.) Do you find yourself unable to stop seeing a specific person even though you know that seeing this person is destructive to you?

3.) Do you feel that you don’t want anyone to know about your sexual or romantic activities? Do you feel you need to hide these activities from others – friends, family, co-workers, counselors, etc.?

4.) Do you get “high” from sex and/or romance and then crash when the act or experience is over?

5.)  Have you had sex at inappropriate times, in inappropriate places, and/or with inappropriate people?

6.) Do you make promises to yourself or rules for yourself concerning your sexual or romantic behavior that you find you cannot follow?

7.) Have you had or do you have sex with someone you don’t (didn’t) want to have sex with?

8.) Have you ever thought that there might be more you could do with your life if you were not so driven by sexual and romantic pursuits?

9.) Do you feel desperate about your need for a lover, sexual fix, or future mate?

10.) Have you or do you have sex regardless of the consequences (e.g. the threat of being caught, the risk of contracting herpes, gonorrhea, AIDS, etc.)?

11.) Do you find that you have a pattern of repeating bad relationships?

12.) Do you feel like a lifeless puppet unless there is someone around with whom you can flirt? Do you feel that you’re not “really alive” unless you are with your sexual/romantic partner?

13.) Have you ever threatened your financial stability, career or standing in the community by pursuing a sexual partner?

14.) Have you ever had a serious relationship threatened or destroyed because of outside sexual activity?

15.) Do you feel that life would have no meaning without a love relationship or without sex? Do you feel that you would have no identity if you were not someone’s lover?

16.) Do you find yourself flirting with or sexualizing someone even if that was not your intention?

17.) Does your sexual and/or romantic behavior affect your reputation?

18.) Do you feel uncomfortable about your masturbation because of the frequency with which you masturbate, the fantasies you engage in, the props you use, and/or the places in which you do it?

19.) Are you unable to concentrate on other areas of your life because of thoughts or feelings you are having about another person or about sex?

20.) Do you find yourself obsessing about a specific person or sexual act even though these thoughts bring pain, craving or discomfort?**

**excerpt from © 1985 The Augustine Fellowship, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, Fellowship-Wide Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Robert Weiss is Founding Director of The Sexual Recovery Institute and Director of Sexual Disorders Services at The Ranch Treatment Center and Promises Treatment Centers. These centers serve individuals seeking sexual addiction treatment and porn addiction help.

Follow Robert on Twitter @RobWeissMSW

 

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The Elephant or the Mouse in the Room, guest post by Cinnie Noble

Posted on November 7, 2011 by Michael

This is a guest post by Cinnie Noble, president of CINERGY™ Coaching is a division of Noble Solutions Inc. based in Toronto, Ontario, providing conflict management coaching services and training worldwide. You can contact Cinne at: cinnie@cinergycoaching.com

The proverbial elephant that appears in the room when we are in conflict isn’t always as big as an elephant. It may be more like a mouse. However, a mouse is no less problematic when it scurries around and inserts itself in small places, like the crevices of our hearts and brains.
Elephants and mice represent the unspoken hurts or words. They are what is going on between disputing people that isn’t being said. They are the lingering doubts and the niggling feelings. They are the missing pieces of the puzzle. They are present without being identified.
At times, it may appear that we resolve matters without ever acknowledging elephants and mice that hover around. Without bringing them into the room though, conflict conversations are destined to have blinders on so that we don’t actually acknowledge their presence. Inevitably though, it seems, the mouse or elephant will reappear in the next conflict, with this person or another.
When we are in conflict, we are responsible for letting the elephant or the mouse in and identifying what they are telling us. The quest for conflict mastery acknowledges this point and you may find it helpful to consider how to acknowledge the elephant or mouse in your conflict conversations, with these types of self-reflective questions:
• Think of the last dispute you were engaged in, when an elephant or mouse was there that wasn’t identified. What was it?
• What kept you from acknowledging its presence, do you think?
• What do you suppose kept the other person(s) from identifying it?
• Which image – a mouse or an elephant – most resonates for you in that dispute and why?
• How would bringing the elephant or mouse into the conversation have changed things?
• How would that change in the conversation have benefited you?
• What part would have been detrimental for you and how?
• How may the other person have benefited if the elephant or mouse were identified?
• What part of that change would hurt the other person and how?
• Generally, under what circumstances may it be best to identify and not identify the elephant or mouse present in the room?

CINERGY™ Coaching is a division of Noble Solutions Inc. based in Toronto, Ontario, providing conflict management coaching services and training worldwide.
Phone: 416-686-4247
Toll free (Canada & US): 1-866-335-6466
Fax: 416-686-9178
Email: cinnie@cinergycoaching.com
Twitter: @CINERGYCoaching
Please add any other comments about this topic. Or, what other ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) add to this aspect of conflict mastery that may be helpful?

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